Hope in Hell

When I woke up this morning for another day visiting homes in the slum my prayer was that I would be able to better see the situations and issues that surround me and the people I am working for each day.

It didn't take long for my eyes to be opened in a new way once I got into the slum.

I saw a glimpse of hell today

When we ventured into new part of the slum that I had not been to before nobody warned me that it was a rough area, they just warned me I would be walking a lot. And we did walk a lot, we walked a good 45 minutes through the slum to get to the ‘neighborhood’ where the 4-7th grade kids lived. The walking, and climbing up hills was not a problem for me, parts of it in fact were quite beautiful. But the neighborhood where I ended up and the people in it struck me to the core.

We were at the top of a hill looking down at where we were going and the kids pointed out men brewing illegal alcohol- for less than 5 cents you can buy a liter of this alcohol and be in a complete coma if you drink less than half of it. Up on the hill that scene itself didn't strike me, I was still removed from it, and in fact found it a bit intriguing. But as soon as we walked down the hill and started getting closer to the neighborhood a black cloud covered us to where there was no sunlight to see and I knew I was getting close to Hell. Once we crossed the bridge and actually entered the village I knew I was in a bad place. It was the only time I have been uncomfortable yet (but don't worry, I’m with great men guiding me!) As we walked down the strip there was not a single woman or child to be seen. I think that speaks volumes to the atmosphere, considering in all the other places I have been I barely see men, only women and children. The strip was lined with bars (constructed of tin huts) with music blaring outside and men calling at everyone who passed to enter inside. There were men passed out cold- looking dead to my eye, covered in coats and jackets- probably since the night before, lining the street making a path for us to walk. I helplessly walked past them all, seriously considering which ones were alive and which were dead. The men that were conscious were either luring others into the bars or fighting outside of the bars. There was the typical sewage and waste piling up on the path to walk on, but in mass quantity. I could feel the smell of the waste seeping into my every pore and following me with each step. There no place I could direct my eyes without seeing terror of some sort, so I walked on faster and faster trying to escape the hell these men had created.

I naively thought that once we got through the hell strip and to the students home we would be a safe zone. Unfortunately I found the alcohol followed us into each home. Whether it be the uncle, father or neighbor, each home had a man reeking of the alcohol and physically impaired by it in some way. It made me incredibly sad for the children knowing that they see that sight everyday in the streets, and then return home to as well. These children walk 45 minutes through the slum, passing a dozen different schools they could attend, but they don’t have enough money to pay the school fees at those schools. I can only imagine how different their lives would be if they didn’t live under the dark cloud and their lives were not completely ruled by the addictions in their families.

A slum is not a good place to live, but most any other place in this slum would be better suited for these children than where they are now. I am thankful they are in fact coming so far to attend a free school and it makes me see that my job has huge potential to help children escape their current situations. If these children do not receive sponsors to pay for their school fees they will very well drop out of school and fall into the trap that is right in front of them, it would be incredibly easy. But thank God, right now they see education as their escape and they are happy to travel to school.

Today was startling and eye opening for me, I am sorry to give such a dark experience. But there is hope. I went into Hell today but I also came out of it. And when I came out of it I was greeted by joyful and excited children and I went home to an orphanage with children that daily tell me how wonderful it is to live there. They show me it is possible to grow up in a slum and not succumb to the terror facing them each day. I have hope that if these children can stay in school they will not live in hell forever, and they will be a part of the change they want to see in their lives. Please continue to pray for them, they are faced with more difficulties than most of us can imagine, but with your prayers they will overcome them. We have to remain hopeful.
All my love to you

A Boring American

As difficult as it is sometimes to communicate with, I do enjoy the people I am working with on my projects in the slum. We have some funny conversations about America and life here. The guys, specifically, that I work with are all around my age or a couple years older. They are nice guys, I enjoy their company, and they are always inviting me out and wanting me to see Nairobi through their eyes. I always politely decline their invitations and they are beginning to get frustrated with me. Unfortunately they don’t understand the caution I have to take when I go out anywhere and I don’t think the places they are specifically going are best for me as a white woman! On Friday when I was riding back to the orphanage with one of the workers, he was giving me a hard time because I wouldn’t go out to the bars with him and his friends. He tried convincing me that I am a boring American and that all other Americans are way more fun and adventurous than I am (which could very well be the case). However, his only experience with white people, especially Americans is through Hollywood movies and he (like most Kenyans) sincerely think America is the way it is portrayed in movies. Thank you Hollywood. I unfortunately had to break him the news that is not the case at all but he didn’t buy it. He is quite convinced that I am a boring American, but I am ok with that!

In fact, this weekend I was not boring at all! I went out both Friday and Saturday night and I spent time with other Mzungu’s, in safe environments! I went to a café in a very nice and developed mall on Saturday afternoon that was having a social for anyone (mostly westerners) that is new to the area and wants to meet other people. There were about 30 people from all over Europe, South Africa and the States meeting, eating and drinking! They ranged in all ages and very different professions. I enjoyed time away to talk to other people, and I really enjoyed the pizza that I got to eat ( I have been craving it so badly!)! It is a really great community and way to meet people, especially if I were going to be here longer and wanted to find people. I found it a little bit difficult to be there and explain what my mission here is since most of them were business or government oriented people, but I made a couple of contacts that I hope to look into for further support. It reminded me that when I go home many people will not understand what I have done either, so I need to know how to adjust to those situations.

Another excitement of my weekend was grocery shopping! I know I keep talking about food, but I am pretty excited about 2 of my recent finds. I bought oranges for 10 cents each, which are always a great snack to quench my sweet tooth and avocado’s as big as my 2 fists for 20 cents each! I am pretty excited to make sandwiches and guacamole; it might replace my peanut butter for a couple weeks!

I hope you all are enjoying the fall weather, I totally forgot it was fall until someone reminded me. I wish I could see the leaves changing! It is getting hotter here... lot's of sun right on the Equator!
Much love to you! Christie

Forever an American

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL MOM TODAY!!

I proved to be an American through and through this week. As we continued to make visits to the homes of children in need of sponsors I was racking my brain trying to find a more efficient way to do it. We have 500 homes to visit, and average 30-50 a day, which is WAYYY better than I thought we would do. But there are sometimes 6 of us working together and the first day all 6 of us went to every house. Crazy, right?! So I ever so politely called for a team meeting and explained to them my suggestion of splitting up into teams in order to better use our time and resources. They were all shocked and excited when I gave them the figures of how many more houses we could reach if we split up. The social worker, Grace, who is a very bright girl working on her masters was ecstatic, her quote exactly : “Fleming, your last name is Fleming. Are you related to Alexander Fleming because you would be a great scientist like him.” I wanted to shake them all and tell them it is called problem solving skills not science, and in America we learn those skills in school at an early age! Unfortunately in the schools in Kenya they only learn how to memorize facts and NOBODY, I repeat NOBODY learns common sense or problem solving skills. It drives me crazy because even the brightest people can’t get themselves out of a simple problem or think ahead to avoid certain problems. That is a major reason why I could never be a teacher here, I don’t see many benefits of having the students do rote memorizing for every single subject.

This whole week I kept making small suggestions to perfect our process, and I always started by saying, “I’m sorry but the American in me wants to make this a bit more efficient will you please consider doing it this way….” So now they are all joking with me saying they are becoming American since I am teaching them how to adjust their plans. My partner, especially is taking a lot of pride in the fact that we always finish our visits first, and of course do the best job too! At first I wanted to do it their way since they know the area better than I do, but then I realized I have something to offer them, so if they can learn how to work more efficiently it will hopefully benefit them in the long run. Who knows though, I am continuously amazed by the lack of change that occurs here! For as much as they love Obama, they don’t follow his slogan very well!


Moral of the story, I am quite thankful to be an American for a many reasons, but most of all because we have problem solving skills and those are invaluable in today’s ever changing world!

Mzungu Celebrity

“ Mzungu How are you? Mzungu How are you?” this chant follows me everywhere I go in the slums! Mzungu is the word for white person- and basically my new name in Nairobi. Even at the orphanage the kids just call me Mzungu, I am trying to train them to call me my name instead!

When I am walking through the slums every child that sees me just shouts at me, even after I recognize them they continue shouting! Most times it is the children that are not in school, so that is the extent of English that they know so they repeat it over and over until I am out of sight. Some don’t even know what they are saying and will say something like “La La Loo” because it sounds the same to them! I wish I could tell you how charitable I am by stopping and saying “Hello, I am fine. How are you” to each child, but it is so overwhelming I have to keep walking past most of them or a huge scene or chaos would erupt!

Today the guy I was working with told me the kids think I am a celebrity. I asked him which one I should be and he suggested Jennifer Anisten… I think I’ll take that as a compliment! But it goes to show what white skin means in this area. The only people they see with white skin are celebrities on TV or magazines so they assume I am rich and have the perfect life (because celebrities lead perfect lives, right!?) I wish I could tell everybody that is not the case, in fact I have tons of people supporting me making it possible for me to even be in Kenya right now. But they wouldn’t follow that! It is very weird for me to think I am one of the few white people they will ever see in their lives and they will keep that imagine with them… my crazy big hair and all, oh dear what am I representing to them!
all my white person love to you all back at home!
christie

PS-- the latest ploy suggested for me to marry the Kenyans here is (drum roll please....) you can marry more than 1 and it's ok (polygamy isn't frowned upon!) I don't have to just choose 1 anymore, how wonderful!
...still kidding!

Photo 1- looking out to a different area in the slum, over the tin shanty homes
Photo 2- interviewing a mom at her market where she sells veggies. Notice the crowd of children just watching!

1 month...

This weekend marks the 1 month point of me being in Kenya. One month doesn't sound like that much time, but to be honest with you, it has seemed like a very long time for me. Even though I have been to Kenya 3 times before I am still adjusting to the new culture and life here. It is lonelier than I expected to be the only American among so many beautiful Africans because of the culture and language barriers. Even though most everybody speaks English there is such a difference in the dialect that I doubt the majority of people understand what I say to them—I have learned to accept the polite nod and smile on many occasions! There are days where I literally cannot have conversations with people about anything more than food and weather.

I am learning so much about myself and so much about our good and loving God through this time of being alone. When I have nobody to talk to or be with that is exactly when God is there wanting to be with me and show me his love. For example: last night I was in a moment of feeling lonely and missing home a whole lot. Our electricity was out so I couldn’t read or do anything to get my mind off of it, but I heard some kids outside. So I went out to see what fun they were creating and an 18 yr old girl named Nancy approached me. I didn’t say 3 words to her before she spilled her entire life story to me. Thank God we were in the darkness of the night because her story had me spilling enough tears to water the entire neighborhood. I listened to her openly share one tragedy of abandonment, abuse, terror and loneliness after another, but share it with confidence in the hope and love she has for God. She never once doubted that God was with her when her parents left her on the streets alone, or when she was the victim of abuse. She has suffered more in the last 10 years than I can ever imagine, yet she has way more hope and joy than I can claim to have. In those moments I was taken outside of myself and shown how beautiful a person can be when they have such faith in God, not only during the good times but also through the hard times.

I came over here with very few expectations of what it would be like, and I was honest with many of you saying I had NOOO idea what I was getting myself into. And in many ways I am still figuring out what I am getting myself into! I know that I am supposed to be here, and that there is a mission for me each moment of the day and I have to seek out the purpose God has for me. Some days it is clearer than others, but it all a part of the journey. Practically speaking, I am learning so much about how organizations run, the need and poverty in this area and the dependence that so many people have on the generosity of the American people.

Most recently, I am learning how to perfect the art of a bucket shower! This new place where I am does not have a shower, but they have a lovely bucket for me to use! I cannot report great success quite yet (in fact I avoid showering at all costs!) so if you have any suggestions I would gladly accept them!

After a month, I am increasingly grateful for all of your support and prayers. I am living on the generosity of each of you and I know this time is more valuable to me than I know right now. The lessons I am learning about myself and life will surely be with me forever. Asante Sana (Thank you very much!)
All my love christie

A Whole New World

Soo I moved across Nairobi to Mogra Star Rescue Center. It is very different than Hekima in many ways. There are double the kids (120) at the orphanage, and they are mixed boys and girls. It is a lovely home, the children are incredibly joyful and loving. They are very disciplined because they have to walk 4 miles to and from school. The high schoolers leave at 5:30am and arrive home at 7pm. They have a beautiful time of prayer and praise at 7pm before dinner. The Rescue Center also included the primary and secondary school which educations 1000 students ( I know it’s HUGE!)

This week I have begun working on sponsorship for the students at school. None of the kids can afford to pay school fees, so they have sponsors- mostly from the US and UK. Right now only half of the students have sponsors, so that means very little money is coming in to pay the teachers or provide lunch for the students (the teachers average $40 a month salary). My job is to go around the slum and meet with the families of the students and then write a report on it in order to come back to the US and find sponsors for these students. It is a huge task, considering 500 homes to visit, but one step a time…

Walking though the slum is shocking, and my prayer is that is continues to be shocking to me so I don’t become numb to it. The poverty I am exposed to is unlike anything you could imagine and my description will be nothing close. I visited tin and mud huts today, averaging 10 square feet that house 6-12 people, no electricity, water, or even windows. There is absolutely no sanitation or waste management in the slum, so garbage and waste overtakes the ‘roads’ and everywhere smells like human waste. At some points I was holding my breath in order not to gag in a families house. Other times I would look outside the door and see a man peeing in the “stream” that not runs through the road.
An example of the horrible situations I learned about in the homes: I met a single mother of 4, 26 yrs old, HIV +, she cannot afford food, therefore cannot take drugs to get better, and therefore has no energy for a job. She has concluded the best way to support her children is to prostitute herself for as little at $2 in order to feed her children for a couple days. It’s absolutely devastating. We were trying to convince her that if she took her children to school they would receive free lunch, and she would also be provided with a meal so then she could accept the FREE drugs and get better. We’ll see what happens, she has been in this cycle for so long it will be hard to change.

I am a bit overwhelmed because there is sooo much need here and I see how little we can actually do. However, I was reflecting on the gospel passage of the loaves and the fishes and was called to a greater faith. God is so great and he can multiply everything to satisfy his people. But I cannot! I cannot do any of this work and expect a difference to be made. But if I dedicate everything to God he has the ability to multiply everything for the people I am serving and change their lives. I am nothing but His hands in this field work, hoping to serve the best way possible.

I am excited to begin this new journey, but beg for your prayers. It is exhausting and I know I am not capable of doing it alone. Thank you, thank you! I miss you all and hope to hear from you soon! All my love Christie

Ps—for those of you who think I will marry someone over here, I could make it a reality! At school today I had proposals from 4 juniors and senior boys… I’ve got options, who knows!
Kidding of course!

jack of all traits

So this week I was busy doing many different things (hense the lack of communication). 2 things specifically stick out for me to share (good for you i won't share it all!)

We had many visitors in town this week for the dedication of the new land Hekima is building on and hopefully moving to in December. It was quite refreshing to have some Americans around as this is going on my 4th week and it is a bit lonely without anyone here. With the visitors around, I specifically noticed how different my diet is from what other people are used to back home! I realized that during the day I usually eat about 5 pieces of bread, cereal, rice, and if I can muster them down a few beans! In order to have energy to keep going I eat peanut butter virtually at every meal as well! With the visitors in town I varied my diet more with a grilled cheese here and there, it was great treat. Tonight was another great treat, one of the visitors made us homemade Italian pasta and meat sauce ! Ohh it had flavor and was so delicious! He also brought ice cream to make sundaes. I am sooooo satisfied right now! I’m sure you don’t care that much about my diet, but found it pretty funny. I’m glad do not have a phobia of carbs! In fact, I am coming to love dry cornflakes!

This week I also took a few of the boarding school girls back to school. We drove 2 ½ hours in one direction through the beautiful tea and coffee plantations. We also went through the Embassy town where many of the embassy’s have relocated since the bombing in 1998. Me, being a typical American, stuck my camera out the window to take a picture of the US Embassy, not even noticing the enormous sign saying DO NOT take pictures. The guards gave me some pretty harsh looks but luckily didn’t approach the car and take my camera! Taking the girls back to school was startling for me. They always tell me how strict their schools are but I never realized how true it was. We were 10 minutes late getting them to school due to bad traffic and the school wasn’t going to let them back for this session. Gladys, the Mum I was with had to beg and plea to allow them back. As soon as the girls got out of the van they were totally different girls: no longer laughing or joking, or even talking. They got in line to check in and didn’t greet any of their friends. The administrators were completely rude to them giving them a hard time for being 10 minutes late. It was not the place I would want to go back to, and not a good environment to encourage learning. Education is so important for these girls if they want a future but with that educational support (or lack there of) they are not going to be encouraged or motivated to do well. If these girls have anything lower than an A average they have nearly no chance of going to a University. They could possibly attend a couple but they wouldn’t receive any scholarships or financial help so they wouldn’t be able to go. The girls study way more than anyone I have met in the States, yet the education system is so poor they still don’t do well. It is very frustrating to watch because if their system was improved the country would be able to grow much more due to the increased knowledge of students.

This weekend was busy with the land dedication. It was a beautiful day and celebration, I am glad I was able to be apart of it to meet so many supporters and family members of Hekima (all the girls are trying to marry me off to their brothers, its pretty humorous!) It also marks the end of my time here at Hekima. On Monday afternoon I will travel to the other side of Nairobi to my new home, Mogra Star. I will keep you updated from there!
Peace and love christie
pictures to come soon...ish!

the farm life

This summer I spent a lot of time driving through Ohio and Indiana, and all acres and acres of farms along the side. I thought it might be fun to live on a vegetable farm after passing through so many. This weekend I got a small taste of what a vegetable farm is like, and I think that was enough for me! I worked with the older girls in the shamba (garden) harvesting corn this weekend. Let me tell you, it was quite the process! We each took a row and plucked each ear of corn from the stalk, there were usually 2 or 3 ears and then when we finished plucking them off we had to shuck them all. Then we tied them all together to hang out to dry. The first day we had to carry them in a sac on our back to the other side of the farm (the girls gave me all the light loads :) ) but the 2nd day we luckily had a donkey to help us. There were ants and bugs crawling all over the stalks, so naturally they began to crawl all over me too! I was so itchy!

They use the corn at this time to grind down and make corn meal and different dishes out so it has to be very dry. They will also sell some of it since there is so much. This was a 2-day process with about 20 girls altogether. It was difficult work for sure, but more than that-- it was time consuming! We did not nearly do as big of fields as I see in Ohio, but to do it all by hand is crazy! If the girls did not do it, 2 men who work in the shamba would have been responsible for doing it all by hand. It would take forever, I was in awe the whole time. My friend Jackie lives on a corn farm so I can’t wait to hear from her the way they harvest the corn, I am sure it much more efficient!
The reward at the end of the day for each girl (besides great satisfaction of course) was a baridi (cold) Coke, what a treat! Coke here is so good because they use pure sugar mmmm mmmm…. Nothing better!
It was a great experience, but I think I will cross off living on a farm on my to-do list in life. Especially if I have to harvest it all by hand!

my time as a mum

“To be a mother means to turn especially to the helpless, to incline lovingly and helpfully to every small and weak thing on earth” – Gertrud von le Fort (taken from The Privilege of Being a Woman

While reading this week, this quote struck me right in the heart! This week I took on the role of a resident “mum” in the house of the babies through 3rd graders. What a task that was- cooking, ensuring homework, chores and bathing was done, putting to bed and waking up the girls! Imagine for a moment your sleepover, or your kids sleepovers as a kid, (the giggles, late night chatting, plotting some adventure etc). Well whatever you are imagining, multiply it by 100000 and that is what I had to try to control this week. One of the mums had a family emergency so they asked me to take over for her. I was set up with the task of overseeing a sleepover of 20 girls, ages 3-11, all in the same room… now picture the chatting, games, laughs and utter chaos that would appear there! The first night wasn’t bad, but it went down hill from there. The girls were used to me being a fun friend to play with and then all the sudden I became the mean rule enforcer at bedtime, and the one waking them up before 6am for school. I felt pretty defeated on the last night when I had absolutely no control and had to call in backup help from another mum. Needless to say, that was my last night as mum. I learned many lessons, one of which: I do not ever want to have that many kids, especially to put to bed! But I learned just what mothers go through sacrificing (sleep & energy especially!) for their kids all day long, and many times loving purely out of the grace of God. When I asked the mums how they do it each day they said they must cooperate with God because He is the only way they can make it through each day! Mom, I remember you breaking up many of my fun sleepovers when I was younger because we were too loud… now I understand how you felt, sorry!

This was also an eye opening experience for me because I realized the reality of where I am. I forget sometimes that I am at an orphanage because it is on a beautiful compound with loving mums and uncles, food on the table and running water. But it is still an orphanage where kids do not receive the constant attention, love and affection that they would in a home. This is much better than anyplace else they could be right now, but it does not compare to the loving home that I and many of us were brought up in. It is not only at orphanages where this lack of love happens. I am told that Kenyans in general do not give or show their children love or affection, they want to make them ‘strong’ therefore withholding love from them. It makes me think a lot about the future of a country when the generations are not being loved on and told how good they are regularly. I believe that education can only take a girl as far as her mind goes, but a girl who knows she is loved can go much further and lead a happier life, changing the people around her. I’m not sure where to go with that, because I know the US is not perfect by any means either. How do we redirect a whole culture to love their children more? Just my thought for today…
I love you all! Give plenty of love to others today!